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A Note From Your Over-responsible Shoulders
Dear Overly Serious One,
I’m your shoulders. Please stop taking so much responsibility for everyone and everything and calling that love. Because you do that I’m so tired. I need a break from holding the weight of the world. Love is acceptance. Therefore, you aren’t responsible for everything, you can let go and allow everyone and everything to be.
Your Right Shoulder
Your right shoulder tightness, tension, pain, and challenges are from me being tired of you taking on the responsibility of others. Allow others to be responsible for themselves and suffer the consequences of their decisions and actions. As a result, you’ll stop enabling others and they may get in enough pain in their lives to make the changes you believe they need to make. If you don’t I will make the pain in your right shoulder even more intense because I really need you to stop and pay attention to what is really yours.
Your Left Shoulder
Your left shoulder hurts because I need you to stop being over-responsible for you. You are okay just as you are and you didn’t cause the problems you see in front of you by yourself. So, give yourself a break and enjoy what you’ve accomplished in life and who you are. Forgive yourself for your trespasses on a regular basis and accept that no one is perfect, most certainly not you. Please stop trying so hard and appreciate your life.
As you set down your burdens, you will free me, your shoulders and we can show you a new way to love. Love with your hands wide open, allowing everyone and everything, including yourself to be just as they/you are. As a result, this new way of loving will bring experiences of real love into your life. Free love without the bondage of responsibility.
I love you just as you are!
Your Shoulders via Michelle Andrie
My Over-responsible Shoulders
As a young child I quickly understood that something was not right with my mother. My very first memory of this was at around one years old. I was standing in my crib, hanging on to the top rail, crying, and my mother came in to the room and screamed out at me and started to cry herself. I quickly stopped crying and my little mind knew that I had to be good to take care of my mother. That experience taught me to put others first, to take on the responsibility for her and I did.
Therefore, I formed a childhood of caretaking my mother and my three younger siblings. I worked really hard to keep everything under control and it was a very difficult task. Because whatever was going on with my mom. she was wild and out of control.
The End Of Childhood
So, I took care of my siblings as my mother got drunk and yelled and screamed at all of us. I watched my sister and brothers in many department stores while my mother got hauled off to the manager’s office for shoplifting. My shoulders began to hurt.
The awful experiences continued as I was horrified by mom’s overly sexualized behavior. Something died inside of me as I watched her kiss my band teacher that I had a crush on as young teen. And I wanted to kill her when I was kissing the hottest guy in school on the couch in our living room and my mother walked into the room stark naked. Instead of eliminating my mother, my shoulders flew up to my ears and got stuck there.
I wanted my mother to stop binge eating ice cream and raw hamburger. All these things caused me to be embarrassed and ashamed of her and I felt so much responsibility. I wanted it all to stop but I couldn’t control her. There was so much pain in my shoulders and neck. I hurt so bad inside because I wanted my mom to be a normal and take care of me and my siblings.
Super Tight Care Taking Shoulders
When I look back at photographs of me as a child I see my shoulders growing tighter and tighter. As a young adult they show my shoulders up to my ears, rolled forward creating a hunch back and my neck displaced forward of my body. My outward appearance showed what was going on inside of me. I felt I was a failure, responsible for everything and everybody. The craziness, didn’t stop no matter what I did. My mother was going to do what she does and hurt her own children. Somehow, I made up that was my fault.
As a young adult, I was fortunate to find yoga, Alanon and a good psychotherapist. I began to understand my mother was sick. My therapist thought she was suffering with bi-polar disease. This understanding allowed me to slowly set down the burden of my mother and to gradually learn a different way of loving. To love without taking on the responsibility for everyone.
When I first began yoga classes, I was used as an example for tight shoulders over and over again. One day, my yoga teacher said, “You don’t have tight shoulders, you hold your shoulders tightly.” I woke up. Because of that statement that day, I really began focusing on softening my shoulders and overtime they did. My neck is now in better alignment with my body and my shoulders actually can move down and back.
I really enjoy life despite my struggle with wanting to help everyone. As a result of my hard work, I do guide others without taking on the responsibility for their challenges. I feel free and am so happy. I love my movement practices and the community I’ve formed around me that doesn’t act crazy and actually supports me. Therefore, my ever softening shoulders thank all who have helped me and continue to support me on my path.
P.S. – From your shoulders – Open us to release over-responsibility. Check out the Ageless Movement Practices to feel even better in less than 45 minutes. Join the Ageless Movement Facebook page to hear all the amazing results from the ageless practitioners.