You are so beautiful and unique
I trust you and want you to know that I’m so happy we are sharing this space and time together. Where are you from? What hardships have you encountered on this journey? What makes your heart smile? Show me your art. Make your food. Come on in. Let’s talk.
I do realize that not everyone is curious about others. Or finds the differences between people fascinating. In fact, Some people in our incredible country built by immigrants want to put up a wall to keep immigrants out. What??
That’s mind-blowing. Building walls are not the answer. Tearing them down and being interested in the plight of the people trying to cross the border is what’s needed now more than ever.
How amazing would it be if US leaders said, “Let’s sit down beautiful people and get to know one another? I want to hear what led you to our great country. Let’s work together to find a resolution to our challenges.”
Open up to trust
The only way out of this insanity is to open up and embrace each other especially our differences. To risk being vulnerable, care about each other, and open the lines of communication.
Have the courage to reach out to your neighbors, your community, your country, your world, and share. Share yourself, your love, your tenderness, your food, your culture, your gifts, your strengths, and your sensitivities. And listen, deeply listen to the people who share this earthly journey with you right now.
Your IT bands are the protection muscles in your body. You can release them by doing this week’s Ageless Movement Practice to Relax Your IT Band. As a result, you’ll calm down, begin to trust and have the courage to listen and share.
Take down your walls
The wall issue is happening as a reflection of the fear we all have inside of ourselves. It’s time for each of us to take down our walls. Where do you protect and defend? What part of you wants to put up a wall and keep others out?
I’m pretty good at accepting everyone. Getting to know different cultures and ways of thinking is one of my favorite things in life. The idea of a homogenous society where everyone is supposed to think, act, and look a certain way is super scary to me.
My primary wall that needs to come down is accepting people who believe in walls and separation. I’ve found that I don’t befriend people that think walling off others is a good idea. AND I have a huge wall up around hypocrites. Your word must match your actions for me to let you in.
My work is to listen to opposing points of view and have compassion for the fear people must feel. It’s going to be super hard for me. But if I want walls to come down I must take mine down too.
I’ve recently found myself on the other side walled out. My best friend, Susan withdrew from me right after I broke up with a boyfriend. I found out about a year later that she was supporting my ex. That didn’t feel good.
I got angry with Susan and shared my pain with her. That share caused weeks of drama which resulted in Susan distancing herself even more. The desire for resolution between my best friend and I led me to invite her to visit me in Hawaii. I thought it would give us a chance to talk through our current challenge. There was no response to my invitation. She’d walled me out.
You’re not welcome
I’d planned to attend Susan’s daughter’s high school graduation. When I called to ask Susan about accommodations — I was told I wasn’t welcome. I understood then how impenetrable the wall had become.
Susan and I barely talk now and when we do it’s on a surface level. Recently, I reached out and shared my pain over losing our friendship. She reacted with blame. I apologized and said I’d go back behind the wall she’d built.
At that Susan requested to postpone all conversations. She said, “We have a lot to unpack and I don’t have the capacity to concentrate on it right now.”
With this kind of wall between people who love one another — No wonder our government is pushing to build an actual wall.
On a sweet note, my ex-boyfriend is no longer my ex. We talked through our differences and chose to accept one another with some healthy boundaries in place. Communication brought us to love and respect.
What I’ve learned about walls — They:
- Are hurtful
- Destroy Trust
- Don’t resolve situations
- Are built on fear not love
- Stop communication
- Prevent the sharing of unique thoughts, ideas and ways of life
What I’ve learned about Tearing down walls and being vulnerable:
- Builds trust
- Resolves challenges
- Deepens love
- Opens communication
- Allows the sharing of unique thoughts, ideas and ways of life
You can lead the way out of this walled up way of being by tearing down the walls you’ve built against others in your world. Open up the lines of communication. Challenge yourself to listen to an opposing thought. Have the courage to share yourself with everyone you meet. Trust again.
A simple move to relax and trust
Lie on your side and take a swimming pool noodle in the outer edge of your right mid-butt cheek. Rock side to side and breathe. Rock and roll slowly down to the outer edge of your knee. You are releasing your right IT Band. Tearing down the walls of protection you’ve put up against others so you can trust them again.
Switch sides and take a swimming pool noodle in the outer edge of your left mid-butt cheek. Rock side to side and roll down to the outer edge of your knee. As you relax your left IT Band this releases the walls of protection you’ve put up inside yourself. You’ll trust yourself again.
As your walls of protection come down, practice looking at others as unique and beautiful. Let more people in and notice what happens.