There are stubborn people everywhere in my life. My family of origin is full of them. I married a few. My daughter, oh my gosh she’s one of the most stubborn people on this planet — I swear.
My old way of handling stubborn people was to let them go. Get them as far away from me as possible. Avoid them at all costs.
That didn’t really work because as soon as I let one stubborn person go — another one came into my life. I lived in a perpetual state of what the heck?
Thank goodness for time
Over the years I slowly came to realize that this was my lesson. I needed to learn something from all these stubborn people. Well, dang it! I didn’t want to!
Hmmm??? Maybe I’m stubborn. Slowly it dawned on me — my desire to change and grow was actually a need to keep moving and changing. The resentment I felt toward my loves was there because I made up they were keeping me from moving at the pace I wanted to.
I thought they were stopping me? But maybe I was using them to stop me. Oh, these ah-ha moments — dang I get it. I’ve been stubborn. My need to move at my own fast pace to change and my resentment toward the people I thought were trying to stop me with their refusal to change — is my own stubbornness.
I need to STOP my ingrained reaction
STOP is an acronym that can be the most fundamental step in coping with stubbornness — inside of you and with other people.
S.T.O.P. stands for:
- Stop whatever you’re doing
- Take 3 deep breaths
- Observe how your body feels
- Proceed with kindness and compassion toward yourself and others.
This pause helped me derail the emotional reactions that habitually took over whenever I blamed some person in my life for stopping my pace of movement and change. It can help you too!
This week’s Ageless Movement Practice will release and open your side seams. The space you hold your own stubborn energy. You’ll open up and feel kindness and compassion for yourself and for all the stubborn people in your life.
Are you stubborn? Share in the comments below.