Anger is a natural emotion
In fact, it is anger that keeps you out of depression. Yes, although throwing a temper tantrum isn’t pleasant — at least you won’t be depressed.
All lower emotions, depression, fear, anger, frustration, overwhelm and pessimism are telling you that you have an unmet need.
When you feel anger — your work is to understand what need is not being met and figure out how to meet that need.
For example, let’s say, you are in traffic and you almost get hit by a car zipping past you at a break-neck speed. You may feel your temper rising up and out of your middle finger.
At that moment your need for safety was violated. Perhaps, pull over until you feel yourself calm down. Then get back on the road being even more aware of your surroundings.
Consider these 10 temper taming tips:
1. Work on releasing held anger from you inner legs with ball work and stretching
Your mind stuffs anger that it can not manage in the moment into your inner legs holding it in your gracilis muscle. When you are filled with unprocessed anger you are more likely to overreact to anything that fuels the flame of your anger. Which can turn a small incident into an out of control raging fire.
This week’s Ageless Open & Strengthen Your Inner Leg Movement Practice will give you the practice to open your gracilis and release held anger.
2. Take deep breaths slowly in and out instead of throwing a temper tantrum
As things heat up, breathe. Instead of opening your mouth and saying things you may regret later or shooting your finger at someone.
3. Learn about how emotions work and reinstate your emotional guidance system (EGS)
Most of us are missing our own internal emotional guidance system (EGS). We live without knowing what we feel, what’s causing the feeling and what we can do about it.
Emotions are there to guide us through our lives. As we feel our way into our lives we know when we are in the lower emotions our needs are not being met but as we go up to the higher emotions we understand that our needs are met.
We are taught how to feel through the process of mirroring. To reinstate your emotional guidance system (EGS) you must mirror your emotions to yourself.
I have developed a simple system to reinstate your emotional guidance system (EGS). Click here to book a FREE consult with me to find out what that entails.
4. Learn to move your emotions
Once you know what your emotions are for, you’ve reinstated your emotional guidance system (EGS) then you can move up the emotional scale at any time. If you’d like to learn the EGS meditation again book a FREE consult with me to find out how it works.
5. Do a workout to get your heart rate up instead of your temper
Physical activity can help reduce stress. Go for a quick walk or full out run, swim, bike or whatever workout you enjoy..
6. Find solutions to get your needs met
Once you’ve identified your need that isn’t being met — stop focusing on your anger and work on meeting your need. For example, if your partner is perpetually late and you like to be on time perhaps you go ahead of your partner. Remember anger doesn’t fix anything and might only make it worse.
7. Tame your temper then express your anger
From a place of calm and peace you can state your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them. Hint, they may not be able to meet your needs and we have to be okay with that.
8. Learn to communicate your needs
Blame and criticism only increase tension. Use “I” statements to describe your problem. State the challenge with respect and be as specific as possible.
For example, say, “I’ve noticed you said you were going to pay that bill. The bill didn’t get paid and we now have a late charge. That upset me. I need to trust you. Would you be willing to take care of this bill now and make sure it gets paid on time in the future?
This is a communication system called Non-Violent Communication (NVC).
9. Find a mantra
When your temper flares repeat a calming phrase, such as “Take it easy or Let go”.
10. Seek help
Seek help for anger issues if your anger gets out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you.
Try these temper taming tips and let us know how they work in the comments below.