Life can get awfully complicated and challenging until we learn to surrender
Why does life get so complicated? What are the reasons for the challenges? Well, I know that each time I face a complication, a struggle, and surrender I receive gifts.
What keeps me from surrendering? What stops me from receiving the gifts from flowing through a challenge — The ego!
I call my ego my small self
Anytime I’m attached to something being the way I want it to be, I am miserable. It is my small egoic self that wants things to be the way I want them to be.
My soulful Self, my Higher Self knows that everything unfolds in the way it’s supposed to.
I work hard to stay in my Higher Self but I don’t stay there at all times. I’m imperfect. My ego still wants to be in control and wants what it wants. Especially at times like this when there’s so much grief and uncertainty in my life — my ego thinks it can take care of things.
If I don’t catch my small self — It can take over and tell me things like —
“Michelle, you’re a victim.”
“If only they would change, you’d be okay.”
“What did I do to deserve this?”
“You are right, they are wrong.”
And a myriad of other things that keep me small. That keep me down.
When I find myself in my small self. It’s time to do the only thing I can do — Surrender and accept.
What do I accept?
That the only power I have is to expand out and trust in the larger truth. The truth that knows that everything happens for a reason.
If I settle in and allow things to unfold I’m relaxed and the outcome is always better than I could dream up.
My first experience with settling my small self down and trusting in my Higher Self happened years ago when my husband at the time acted out in a very destructive way.
I so badly wanted to hurt my then-husband because of what he “did to me“. Thankfully, I was working the twelve-step program, Alanon — so instead of deliberately hurting him — I shared in meetings and with my sponsor. I also worked with a therapist, talked to my friends, and got on my mat every day to roll and move the tension of the experience out of my body.
These tools and techniques kept me sitting on my hands, keeping my mouth shut, and minding my own business. Basically, I didn’t react.
Well, a year went by in which we got divorced. The lawyer I hired as a recommendation through friends really took care of me and got a good settlement. BUT that wasn’t the real gift.
The best gift of all unfolded without any of my doing. My ex-husband was fired from his job because he carried out the same destructive behavior he was acting out with me — at work.
His work was his pride and joy. He was a medical reporter and as a result, was a famous public figure. He loved the attention he got wherever he went.
When the story of his acting out became public — he was shamed. Shamed without me taking any action. All my revenge plots didn’t have such an amazing outcome. He didn’t love the attention he got from his public after he lost his job. He moved away from the city where we were living in disgrace.
From this place of surrender I could see my ex-husband was hurting. I knew hurt people hurt people. I found compassion for him and that made me feel a whole lot better.
From this experience, I learned to surrender, do the next right thing when it was revealed and be patient when things go wrong around me. To talk to my friends and supporters instead of reacting toward those who are just doing what they do. I let go of taking things personally and trusted in the Universe. To trust in love, and wait — just wait for the gift.
Right now during this time of uncertainty as people spin out of control emotionally and say and do things that aren’t in alignment with who they really are. I am working on feeling compassion and finding patience.
I’m doing the next right thing when it is revealed, I’m talking to my friends, family, and support team. I’m practicing my trust in the Universe, moving my body, and waiting for the gifts. I know they will come as long as I don’t interfere. As long as I surrender.
We are all waiting through this time. Let’s be patient, surrender to love, feel compassion, trust the Universe, mind our own business, move the tension out of our bodies, and prepare to receive the gifts.
Move your body to surrender
My daily movement practice has helped me so much to get through this time. Set down your burdens and allow your shoulders to soften with this week’s Ageless Shoulder Surrender Movement Practice. As your shoulders release, your neck will free, your heart will open, and your shoulder blades will do the happy dance.
What are you doing to find patience during this challenging time? Please share in the comment section below.