My Dear Constant Companion,
I’m ready to free your legs from Pain and tension. We grew up together and I’m forever grateful to have shared the joys and sorrows of childhood with you. I’ll never forget our first steps as I wobbled and figured out the ground. And the joy of running! Oh how we ran!! Some things were tough and I couldn’t have survived without you. And now it’s time to let go of whatever you are hanging onto from that sacred time. I want to run again… Oh, and leap for joy! Remember that feeling? Let’s experience that again.
The pain and tension in your legs has been my way of trying to get you to accept what happened way back before adulthood. I, your legs are the timeline of your childhood. I’ve left you clear clues on what you need to address and work through. Your ankles represent conception, your calves, the early years, your knees, pre-teen and your upper leg, the teenage years. I’ll give you an example, if you are having knee issues, you are hanging onto something from your preteen years.
I’ve made it even easier for you to understand by placing the teachings from mom in the left leg. She was meant to teach your inner world, your guidance system, your feelings and intuitive knowings. The pain you feel in the left leg is from hanging on to something in childhood around a feeling or an inner knowing. Time to feel it fully, you don’t even need to specifically remember what happened. Just allow yourself some feeling time.
The right leg holds the teachings of dad. Dad was meant to teach how to be in the outer world, how to deal with others outside of you. The pain you feel in the right leg comes from hanging onto something that couldn’t be worked out in the world outside of yourself with the teachings from dad. Allow it all to be. Accept everyone and everything just as they were, you can not change the past but accepting it will change your future.
Let go, mom and dad did the best they could with the teachings they received from their parents. You were guided to learn from your parents. Energetically, to be educated in the precise way to face your ultimate challenge and to have the opportunity to change it into your purpose. You are alright. You survived your childhood with the teachings that have created the life you’ve led up to this point and now, you have the power to acknowledge the teachings, thank your teachers, mom and dad, and create whatever changes you need to make from here.
Powerfully, ground into me, your legs, your space and time on this earth. Holding steady with deep roots to allow the rest of your body to grow up and out from your legs, to find the freedom in the upper body to sway and flow with the winds of your life.
You can do it. I, your legs and your mom and dad are rooting you on.
Root down, grow up and be free.
I love you!
Childhood is the learning ground. And many of us have childhood stories of pain and trauma. Like Rose, who experienced abuse and abandonment in her early years and it left her at 45 years old with two knee replacements. And the knee replacements weren’t done properly by the surgeon. Rose is still experiencing pain from her preteen years today at 57 years old.
Rose is starting to pay attention. She’s looking back with wonder instead of running as fast as she can to be and accomplish enough to be “good enough” for her parents so they’d finally take care of her instead of hurting her. She’s slowing down. Finally, giving herself space to be and to contemplate the people that are her parents who educated her.
Her dad up to this day, tolerates no emotions. She was visiting him recently and was having a difficult time. As she attempted to share her challenges with her dad, he just shook his head and told her to get over it.
Rose got the gift. Her dad can not tolerate the feminine, feelings, intuition that space of deep knowing. Because of that he gave Rose the message to toughen up, to work hard, to stay so busy there is no time to stop and question life. To only value the masculine outer world and to push away anything that comes from inside. She listened to his teachings.
Negating her mother’s voice, Rose became super strong. She pushed to excel at every sport, school, job and even hobbies. She was super capable and made her life happen. She took care of everyone around her without a feeling or a need. She literally looked and acted like Super Woman. But this was not her truth and she fell apart suddenly.
Just as Dad had left her mom very abruptly, Rose completely left herself, blanked out and went on a driving spree for two days that she doesn’t remember until she ran into the back of a parked truck going 75 miles and hour. She took the brunt of the impact in her left knee. It had already been replaced and it caused the metal to tork out of alignment.
Her legs were begging her to look at her preteen years with mom. The feeler, the healer. To slow down and begin to value her inner world. Rose’s mom was a gifted spiritual healer who used her Native American inner knowings to navigate the world. Rose’s mom left during her preteen years. Rose is beginning to understand why. No one with any feelings could stay around her dad. Forgiveness is beginning to flow.
Rose was forced to slow down, to connect with her mother and her feminine side. She’s starting to heal, really heal. I saw her cry the other day for the first time since I’ve known her in almost thirty years. Rose, now, more aware of what happened to her is embracing her mother and letting go of pleasing her dad. Soon there will be a leap for joy!
Lie down and notice where your pain is held in your left leg. This is where you hold the teachings of mom, your inner world. If you experience pain in the left ankle, you’ve got a challenge with mom starting at conception. If your calves ache, the early years from birth to nine years old are wanting to heal from some feeling or inner knowing that got swallowed or misunderstood. The knees hold the very sensitive energy of your pre-teen years. What happened to you back then? Did you fully process your feelings around it? Is there pain or tension in the upper leg. The teenage years. Where are you holding? How old were you and what happened? Did you get stuck in a feeling that never got processed? It’s time to become aware. Fully embrace the pain and begin the process of letting go.
Notice where the pain is in your right leg. This is where you hold the teachings of dad, the outer world. Ankle pain, represents something you’ve been holding around dad from conception. Calf pain? I want you to consider how old you were. Be curious. Breathe into that space of your leg and just allow whatever comes up to come up. Don’t force anything. This is the space of childhood and memories can be fleeting. If something comes up, allow it to be there. If nothing comes up allow that to be there. These were the early years. Did someone do something to you and you didn’t handle it in a way that kept you safe? The knees, pre-teen, where you begin going out to play with others in the outer world. What happened to you?? The upper leg, teenagehood. The space where you were way out in the outer world, relying on peers to give you feedback and reacting to that information in ways that you were taught by dad. What are you hanging on to from your teen years. Time to let go and try to interact with the world in a new way.
Stay on your back. Draw your knees to your chest. Rock side to side on your sacrum. When ready, take your feet into your hands or strap your feet and hang onto the belt. Knees to the outer edge of your body, pull your heels toward your head without lifting your bottom off the floor. With each exhale, drop your knees toward the floor and bring your feet toward your head. Inhale, release. Keep going and when ready, straighten the right leg, heel toward ceiling allowing if needed, the hand to slide down the back of the right leg or place the strap onto the right foot. Keep the left knee bent. Hold and breathe into dad’s teachings from childhood. Breathe out that which didn’t serve you in the outer world and breathe in what works well with others. Switch legs on an exhalation and breathe into your left leg. Breathing out the teaching from mom that didn’t serve you in your inner world. Breath out and accept yourself just as you are.
A new bud
Opening from centuries
Of unremembered calling
Reaches forth from roots
Of truths it can’t yet hold.
The body writhes
A tortured mess,
A blessed garden,
Greening for the going home–
Contorted weaving past and present,
Toiled tilling for the germ,
Last year’s crop fodder for
The journey, new.
One life passing
One life holding
All the seasons
From the depths
That brought me
If you know someone who’s experiencing pain in their legs and wants to release it, pass on this leg clearing blog post with them. They can check it out and then sign up for Ageless Body Notes delivered to their inbox every Saturday. Here’s to strong, open roots!
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